I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
