Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
