I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
