He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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