I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
