she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
