My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
