he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
should my penis look like a turkey
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
