Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize