Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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