it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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