don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
