we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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