god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
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