Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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