you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
