i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
can u get pink eye on your cock?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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