So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize