3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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