Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize