haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize
