Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
