I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
