I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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