i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
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2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
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My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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