It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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