i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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