I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It was a blind-side dick pic.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize