I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
