I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
