All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
