I'm jealous of your bromance
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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