I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
