So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
