I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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