i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You've changed since you got that strap on
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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