Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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