just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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