Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Randomize
