sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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