Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
