im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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