Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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