I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
