im gay
i know
yea but for you.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
