So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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