He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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