Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
