Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Randomize
