Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
