I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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