i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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