I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
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My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
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You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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