Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
bring money and cleavage
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
