i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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