All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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