I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
