so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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