He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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