yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
