he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
