ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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